I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
