everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
