just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
