fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
