and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
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