Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
