It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
