You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
