where does the pee come out of this thing
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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