His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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