I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
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