If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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