she smelled like a LAN party
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
