Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
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