so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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