The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
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