Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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