So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Hello my rib-scented angel!
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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