honey bunches of taint.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Randomize
