ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
