If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
