He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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