Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
