Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize
