What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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