Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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