btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
