Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
