you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
pray to the hookup gods
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
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