When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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