Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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