I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
