Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
