i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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