Banned from zoo.
Again?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
