is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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