But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
