Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
