My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
