dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Nicole vs. Life
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
