Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
