i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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