Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
