doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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