dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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