I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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