I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
