Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
