Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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