dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
My vagina just recognized that song.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
