i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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