Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
We need to get me chipped asap
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Randomize
