It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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