i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
This is classic penis vs brain.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
