You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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