I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
