Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
