My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize