Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
