Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
