My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
